更新时间:2008-01-26

本月偶像 • 烟火讯号:Smoke Signals

Truth be told, I took this movie as a personal message from God above. Problems in the relationship between me and my father have been bothering me so badly for several years, and recently, I have been thinking more and more frequently that how should I forgive him and let go of all the bad memories in the past? What really has happened between us? Did not I do anything wrong to him also? Who is the one really needs to be forgiven.
In a family, things lay there as facts, say, nature-born relationships and unreasonable love in the blood, will stay still unconditionally. As long as they exist one moment, nothing could be changed afterwards. And the problems, which can be considered as nature-born also, come right after. I, who am a foreigner from an Asian country, have to deal with the same kind of troubles in my own family, just as people from all other parts of the world. The distinguishiabilities come from the nurture side. Closer or further connections between family members, authorities in the family, and reactions to certain issues could be heavily influenced by personal belief, cultural traditions and religion environment. Since interaction between regions and groups are becoming wider and more frequent, the conflict caused by culture and lifestyle collisions appear more and more in families, especially between generations. Having a family standing behind all the time is a blessing; fighting the world and one’s own family at the same time, is absolutely painful and tragic.
Victor and I both have some very similar experiences, so I can understand his feelings very easily. At the end of the movie, Thomas was reading a poem How do we forgive our fatherS; I was listening carefully and asking myself the same question. Victor regards his father with both deep love and bitter resentment and dislike. He might have wished things could be done differently after all, he or his father could have done things in some other ways, just before everything gets too late, when they still have the chance to talk, play basketball, hug, and even fight. Victor must confront his conflicted feelings toward his father, as well as his own identity. The trip gave Victor some answers he had been looking for and shown him why his father left home and became an abusive father and alcoholic. I wished I would not see the same thing happens to me in the future, so I had to do something, at least give it another try. I tried before, failed; but I prayed, and decided to try again. The point is since you cannot tell what the problem is and whose fault it is, just try to star it over from the beginning point. Compromise need to make, hard feelings to bear, but it is worth the effort, no matter how many times you fail.