更新时间:2010-01-07
喽喽 • 李献计历险记:我只是想记录下台词
整部片让我最欣赏的，就是台词。
提醒一下，以下内容全是剧透
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等等，他有话说。
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王倩
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王倩
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操你大爷！
5
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这个被游戏气得砸电视的是一小日本
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他来中国大概一个月了
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芳龄28，正是血气方刚
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我受够了！
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看我手指都他妈流血了！
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都怪这破游戏！
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我每天玩20个小时
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每小时按键上万次
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我从来没为一款游戏付出这么多！
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现在我算是知道了
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根本没人能玩穿这2b游戏！
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你跟你的破游戏都去死吧！
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去死吧！！去死吧！！去死吧！！
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这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计
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他温文尔雅、知书达理
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从来不会被冲动所控制
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可那说的是他50岁以后
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李献计当年25
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在悠久的中日友好关系史上
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点下了小黑点儿
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算上今天的，你已经7次把我打昏了
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不到俩月，7次
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平均一个月3.5次
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平均一个星期0.875次
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平均每天0.125次
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平均每小时0.005...
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差不多行了，日本祥林嫂
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打击日本侵略者
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是我们每个公民应尽的义务
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可是私下里就咱俩吧
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我是真不想欺负你
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关键我控制不住自己
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我是一病人啊
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李献计没瞎说
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他得的这病叫差时症
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临床上表现为把一段很短的时间
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在感觉上漫长化
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就好比刚才那小日本
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在被放倒之前
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一共才抱怨了27秒
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而在李献计眼里
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每秒都被延伸到无比漫长
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好像永无尽头
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这种幻觉直接作用于身体
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李献计觉得口干舌燥
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头疼欲裂
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而且特别的不振作
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所以必须抽之
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得，跳闸了
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别急，一会儿就来电
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手机先给你，照着点儿
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谢谢啊！
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别客气，你也怪不容易的
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说...说得也是啊...
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对了，这游戏你玩儿很长时间了吧？
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嗯，玩了有一段了
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好厉害啊！
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可你的手指看上去完全没有受伤
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因为我把它们都换成了铁质的
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——你的手指？
——对！
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什么时候？
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卖肾的时候顺手就换了
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卖肾？可为什么啊！
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为了能让您来中国
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你是说...
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我？
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《李莲英走了》今天请来的嘉宾叫李献计
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他现在不计成本地想要打穿一款游戏
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甚至不惜把肾卖掉，为了这款游戏
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忍受了许多人没有办法忍受的痛苦
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所以，献计你为什么这么肯定
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这款游戏就一定能被你打穿呢？
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也许它本身就是一个恶作剧
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根本没有人能打穿
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事实上你说这问题
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我从来就没担心过
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因为我看见有人把它打穿了
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所以玩穿后会怎样呢？
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到时候会打开一扇门
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走进去就能回到自己的过去
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所以什么样的错都可以修正
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嗯，是个蛮感人的故事
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好吧就算你能够时间旅行的话
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那你想要回到什么时代呢？
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我只想回到和王倩分手之前
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然后避免一些事情的发生
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可献计你应该知道
92
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如果只是想和女友复合的话
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不需要又卖肾又改造身体这么复杂的
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你只要去跟她讲就好啦
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你是一同性恋吧
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事实上你内心是个姑娘
97
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你特别希望能找一纯粹的爷们
98
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结果有一天真让你碰上了
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找了一辈子终于找着了
100
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然后你就跑过去把心里全都说给他听
101
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结果对面来一句
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“可你该明白”
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“纯粹的爷们需要的是纯粹的姑娘”
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我举这例子的意思是
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王倩跟我分手的原因
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比这还残酷
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那
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究竟是怎样的原因呢？
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好吧，我们的节目也就要结束了
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关于这个游戏
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我想就只好求助于日本的美元大雾了
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作为世界上最强悍的电子竞技王者
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他一定会对你有所帮助
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事实上他提供的惟一帮助
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就是给我一号码
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号码？
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你好，欢迎您使用电话支付系统
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购买k粉请按1
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冰毒请按2
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海乐神请按3
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大麻请按4
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转人工请按0
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你好请问有什么需要么？
124
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我想买那种可以提高反应速度的兴奋剂
125
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我们有A.B.C三种商品可供选择
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A种商品副作用小
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效果也最差
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C种商品效果最好
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可副作用非常严重
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我们推荐B类商品
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效果虽然略逊商品C
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可副作用却远远小于商品A
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来一个C类商品吧
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好的，商品报价目前为人民币50万
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我操，能便宜点儿么
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你好...
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你好，请问...
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商品C，50万现金支付
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好的，请于晚间11：30
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到人民公园完成购物程序
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再次感谢您使用电话支付系统
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晚上见
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人民公园
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老红军练剑
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街道大妈蹦迪的地方
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这真让人意外
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我和王倩
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也常在那无所事事地呆上一整天
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扫视路过的人群
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男人
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女人
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健康的
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残缺的
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年轻的
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和老去的
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我们一起想像这这些人的生活
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并试图扮演他们
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王倩和我一样有差时症
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一天时间有时候对我们来说
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就像几个月那么漫长
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所以
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我们扮演的各种人生
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加起来该有上百年
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可王倩
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总能令我像最初见到她时那样
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注目着她
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于是我不止一次地感谢自己的病
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能让我有机会
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以世纪为单位，和她在一起
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我们分手后
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人民公园在前不久
172
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就这么无声无息的
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在城市规划中被夷为平地
174
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所以买药姑娘和我在电话里约好的目的地
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是个已经根本不存在的地方
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我首先想到的是
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自己在出租车上睡着了
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眼前就是梦境
179
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当我从公园后门翻墙而入时
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石壁上的寒冷透过手掌传遍全身
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使这些看上去又更像是真实的
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继续往公园深处走
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周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西
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前边那表皮剥落得差不多的绿色长椅
185
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身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪
186
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井盖边上一片印着小孩脚印的水泥地
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这些本该消失的东西
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凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光
189
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我开始往前跑
190
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再怎么好意思
191
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我也不能让自己触景生情地跟这
192
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潸然泪下吧
193
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为了不那么难受
194
00:09:52,429 --> 00:09:55,225
我开始假装自己真的在这儿碰见了王倩
195
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我走上前跟她说
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呦，没留神咱省了50万啊
197
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,055
明天上街一人来身新衣服
198
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,386
再把你旧手机给换了
199
00:10:06,491 --> 00:10:07,453
你来台nds
200
00:10:07,829 --> 00:10:08,862
我来台psp
201
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,612
之后买上一堆零食
202
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,115
坐飞机去西藏
203
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,180
九寨沟、杜拜
204
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,182
伦敦、夏威夷
205
00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:18,002
复活节岛
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00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:18,572
纽约
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00:10:19,011 --> 00:10:19,572
巴黎
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00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:20,864
哥本哈根......
209
00:10:27,135 --> 00:10:29,030
再后来，买药姑娘来电话
210
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让我把钱都放到公园里
211
00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,547
一台红色自动售货机里
212
00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:38,166
这花了我很长时间
213
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长到让我相信
214
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,324
人民公园的再次出现
215
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,468
事实上跟王倩毫无关系
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00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,494
你好，这里是电话支付系统
217
00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,183
您的交易已完成
218
00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:07,965
希望您购物愉快
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00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:09,399
后会有期
220
00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,280
并祝您春节快乐
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00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,331
万事如意
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00:11:21,552 --> 00:11:22,323
差时症
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00:11:22,895 --> 00:11:23,787
我操你妈
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00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:26,676
李献计心里明镜儿似的知道
225
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,438
自己差时症又犯了
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00:11:28,913 --> 00:11:30,185
因为他分明记得
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00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:31,530
几个小时前
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00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,353
第一次给买药姑娘打电话
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00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,202
是一个夏季的夜晚
230
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:36,979
当时还下着雨
231
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,246
他砍价未遂
232
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,136
被姑娘二话没说挂了电话
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00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:42,545
紧接着他又拨了第二次
234
00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,296
并约好在人民公园见面交易
235
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,306
整个通话过程不超过5分钟
236
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,968
而事实上这两次通话之间
237
00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,875
却相隔了整整一年半
238
00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:55,801
这便是差时症的第二种临床表现
239
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,531
把一段极长的时间
240
00:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,355
在感官上短暂化
241
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,307
在这18个月里发生了许多事儿
242
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,979
比如被拆毁的人民公园
243
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:05,693
在人民的强烈抗议下
244
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,202
按原样重建了
245
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,124
接下来，应广大观众的热烈要求
246
00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:11,780
我们将着重介绍一下
247
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,961
李献计迅速弄到50万的成功经验
248
00:12:23,355 --> 00:12:24,708
我必须得弄到50万
249
00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,205
康熙玉玺
250
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,260
值6000万
251
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:28,989
把它带到阿富汗
252
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:30,555
就给你50万
253
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,320
怎么个带法
254
00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:32,984
我们知道你卖掉一个肾
255
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,410
玉玺可以放在那里
256
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,285
所以你要做的就是
257
00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,107
换登机牌
258
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:37,958
过安检
259
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,112
然后上飞机
260
00:12:39,704 --> 00:12:40,466
用你们的话说
261
00:12:40,555 --> 00:12:41,570
就是万无一失
262
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,083
你不能上飞机
263
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,249
管得着么，你哪位
264
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,132
C.I.A
265
00:12:46,484 --> 00:12:48,587
你被怀疑进行非法资金流动
266
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,101
我们知道你在肚子里藏了什么
267
00:12:51,495 --> 00:12:55,233
但如果你同意把一颗小窃听器植入玉玺内
268
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:56,809
我们就不逮捕你
269
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,224
之后，当然
270
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,169
你得继续把玉玺运给我们的
271
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,169
“阿富汗朋友”
272
00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,261
那帮阿富汗商人安全么
273
00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,058
放心吧，都是良民
274
00:13:08,011 --> 00:13:09,412
你正在为美国工作
275
00:13:10,863 --> 00:13:11,652
对不对！
276
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,621
操，悲剧了
277
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,545
这些无知的老美
278
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:17,056
越来越让人生厌
279
00:13:17,615 --> 00:13:20,129
当然，你今天将为此客死他乡
280
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,789
吓唬谁啊，有本事拿枪把我给毙了
281
00:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,304
在我离开后就杀了他
282
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:28,079
一般人要这样
283
00:13:28,535 --> 00:13:29,596
肯定就给吓坏了
284
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,119
可是如果会功夫的话
285
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,535
我是来把你从阿富汗安全带走的
286
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,753
但在我们逃离这里之前
287
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,765
我必须先从那个阿富汗商人手中
288
00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,917
救一个人质出来
289
00:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,173
这人质是谁啊
290
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,108
美国总统的女儿
291
00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,861
那这阿富汗商人
292
00:13:50,042 --> 00:13:51,253
肯定得是本拉登吧
293
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,985
他们将付出代价！
294
00:13:57,643 --> 00:13:58,816
来救我的特工牺牲了
295
00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,121
所以我们已经跟美国失去了联系
296
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,506
要想逃出这里
297
00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:07,899
我们就只能靠自己！
298
00:14:10,986 --> 00:14:11,667
那无所谓
299
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,598
只要别耽误我找本拉登
300
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,274
他还拖欠我50万送货费呢
301
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,846
你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩？
302
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,489
其实就是为了自己
303
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,567
能从分手后的世界顺利逃走
304
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,926
你的神不在这里
305
00:14:57,694 --> 00:14:58,746
差时症
306
00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,546
给我50万！
307
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,697
你得买什么？
308
00:15:42,181 --> 00:15:42,892
献计献策
309
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,228
对不起
310
00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:46,665
我在未来
311
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:47,521
把这款游戏打通了
312
00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:51,030
所以，你把这个时代的王倩取代了
313
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,228
而且我是差时症痊愈以后的王倩
314
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,100
我跟你
315
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,407
还有过去的王倩
316
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,703
已经完全不一样了
317
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:03,864
明白
318
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227
不过还好
319
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020
你把那游戏又给了我
320
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141
这样我就能回去找原来的王倩
321
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660
就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候
322
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541
我们也不会在一块很久
323
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494
因为我的差时症很快就没有了
324
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277
我知道
325
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203
到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次
326
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095
献计献策
327
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501
虽然我没法再喜欢你了
328
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229
可你这么浪费自己
329
00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721
我心里很难过
330
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794
都回去吧
331
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289
我还得接着打游戏呢
332
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367
你想过么
333
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114
如果你一直留在现在
334
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161
也许我们有一天还会在一起
335
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932
那样
336
00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919
也只是因为你在可怜我吧
337
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178
就这样吧
338
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146
过去的王倩
339
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064
还在等着我呢
340
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043
最后
341
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555
像每个人期望的那样
342
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853
李献计打穿了游戏
343
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161
接着就真的出现了一扇门
344
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392
他可以回到过去了
345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660
可同时他也发现
346
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561
这样的门并不只有一扇
347
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975
穿过这些门
348
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778
你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒
349
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598
也可能是刚出生的第一秒
350
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496
李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候
351
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027
所以
352
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485
在他找到正确的门之前
353
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150
他就只能一遍又一遍地
354
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
重复着之前做过的事情
355
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988
进入一扇门后的世界
356
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822
在那里打穿游戏
357
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096
然后进入另外一扇门
358
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655
并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去
359
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821
在这个漫长的过程中
360
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401
李献计开始变得圆滑
361
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885
他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕
362
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味
明白
318
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227
不过还好
319
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020
你把那游戏又给了我
320
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141
这样我就能回去找原来的王倩
321
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660
就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候
322
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541
我们也不会在一块很久
323
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494
因为我的差时症很快就没有了
324
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277
我知道
325
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203
到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次
326
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095
献计献策
327
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501
虽然我没法再喜欢你了
328
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229
可你这么浪费自己
329
00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721
我心里很难过
330
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794
都回去吧
331
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289
我还得接着打游戏呢
332
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367
你想过么
333
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114
如果你一直留在现在
334
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161
也许我们有一天还会在一起
335
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932
那样
336
00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919
也只是因为你在可怜我吧
337
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178
就这样吧
338
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146
过去的王倩
339
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064
还在等着我呢
340
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043
最后
341
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555
像每个人期望的那样
342
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853
李献计打穿了游戏
343
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161
接着就真的出现了一扇门
344
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392
他可以回到过去了
345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660
可同时他也发现
346
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561
这样的门并不只有一扇
347
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975
穿过这些门
348
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778
你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒
349
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598
也可能是刚出生的第一秒
350
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496
李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候
351
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027
所以
352
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485
在他找到正确的门之前
353
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150
他就只能一遍又一遍地
354
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
重复着之前做过的事情
355
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988
进入一扇门后的世界
356
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822
在那里打穿游戏
357
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096
然后进入另外一扇门
358
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655
并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去
359
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821
在这个漫长的过程中
360
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401
李献计开始变得圆滑
361
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885
他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕
362
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味
363
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:18,020
皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落
364
00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:19,789
他也逐渐知道
365
00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:21,622
爱情并不是生命的全部
366
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,456
也许他可以在某扇门后停下来
367
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,150
做一些其他事儿
368
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,844
遇见一些其他的人
369
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,234
他有时候会梦见一群人向自己走来
370
00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:34,877
王倩也在里边儿
371
00:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,000
可李献计却无论如何也没法记起
372
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,900
王倩的样子
373
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,967
就站在那儿
374
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:41,941
眼睁睁地
375
00:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,672
跟整个人群错身而过
376
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:45,974
他醒来
377
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,240
像个老人一样地坐在床边
378
00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,979
沮丧了很久
379
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,551
李献计又开始寻找那扇正确的门
380
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,388
直到有一天
381
00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,739
他打开一扇门
382
00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,264
那儿刚下完雨
383
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,197
日落前的橙色包裹着人们
384
00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,249
大家看上去都比平时要高兴
385
00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,984
空气既凉爽又新鲜
386
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,507
就像迎面看见的王倩
387
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,747
即使最简单的对视
388
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,028
也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处
389
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,417
那就是他第一次见到的王倩
390
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,025
一点儿也没变
391
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:23,727
可李献计
392
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,201
却再也没法向前迈出一步
393
00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,873
因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照
394
00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,234
他知道，这么久以来
395
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,738
他们两人之中
396
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,176
时间
397
00:19:35,313 --> 00:19:36,343
只在自己身上
398
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,962
汹涌地流逝了
399
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,791
最后李献计说
400
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,492
见到王倩时
401
00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:48,440
就像瞬间经历了整个人生
402
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,666
心里很平静
提醒一下，以下内容全是剧透
——————————————————————
1
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,330
等等，他有话说。
2
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,320
王倩
3
00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:41,060
王倩
4
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,120
操你大爷！
5
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:13,110
这个被游戏气得砸电视的是一小日本
6
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,000
他来中国大概一个月了
7
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,000
芳龄28，正是血气方刚
8
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,240
我受够了！
9
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,200
看我手指都他妈流血了！
10
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,300
都怪这破游戏！
11
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,000
我每天玩20个小时
12
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,980
每小时按键上万次
13
00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,000
我从来没为一款游戏付出这么多！
14
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,090
现在我算是知道了
15
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,000
根本没人能玩穿这2b游戏！
16
00:01:31,030 --> 00:01:33,000
你跟你的破游戏都去死吧！
17
00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,341
去死吧！！去死吧！！去死吧！！
18
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,900
这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计
19
00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,120
他温文尔雅、知书达理
20
00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,900
从来不会被冲动所控制
21
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,010
可那说的是他50岁以后
22
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,500
李献计当年25
23
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:56,120
在悠久的中日友好关系史上
24
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,510
点下了小黑点儿
25
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,660
算上今天的，你已经7次把我打昏了
26
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,000
不到俩月，7次
27
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,070
平均一个月3.5次
28
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,210
平均一个星期0.875次
29
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,000
平均每天0.125次
30
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,180
平均每小时0.005...
31
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,000
差不多行了，日本祥林嫂
32
00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:38,045
打击日本侵略者
33
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,890
是我们每个公民应尽的义务
34
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,300
可是私下里就咱俩吧
35
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,570
我是真不想欺负你
36
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,130
关键我控制不住自己
37
00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:50,050
我是一病人啊
38
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,320
李献计没瞎说
39
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,280
他得的这病叫差时症
40
00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:56,050
临床上表现为把一段很短的时间
41
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,790
在感觉上漫长化
42
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,740
就好比刚才那小日本
43
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,090
在被放倒之前
44
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,130
一共才抱怨了27秒
45
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,100
而在李献计眼里
46
00:03:05,405 --> 00:03:07,890
每秒都被延伸到无比漫长
47
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,844
好像永无尽头
48
00:03:10,101 --> 00:03:12,114
这种幻觉直接作用于身体
49
00:03:12,353 --> 00:03:14,198
李献计觉得口干舌燥
50
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,365
头疼欲裂
51
00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,333
而且特别的不振作
52
00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,505
所以必须抽之
53
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,440
得，跳闸了
54
00:03:22,444 --> 00:03:24,137
别急，一会儿就来电
55
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,729
手机先给你，照着点儿
56
00:03:26,903 --> 00:03:27,904
谢谢啊！
57
00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,894
别客气，你也怪不容易的
58
00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:31,902
说...说得也是啊...
59
00:03:34,552 --> 00:03:37,489
对了，这游戏你玩儿很长时间了吧？
60
00:03:37,507 --> 00:03:39,171
嗯，玩了有一段了
61
00:03:39,527 --> 00:03:40,529
好厉害啊！
62
00:03:41,373 --> 00:03:43,198
可你的手指看上去完全没有受伤
63
00:03:43,785 --> 00:03:45,409
因为我把它们都换成了铁质的
64
00:03:46,828 --> 00:03:47,608
——你的手指？
——对！
65
00:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,355
什么时候？
66
00:03:48,385 --> 00:03:50,000
卖肾的时候顺手就换了
67
00:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,951
卖肾？可为什么啊！
68
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,311
为了能让您来中国
69
00:03:53,337 --> 00:03:54,559
你是说...
70
00:03:54,896 --> 00:03:56,180
我？
71
00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:07,243
《李莲英走了》今天请来的嘉宾叫李献计
72
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,380
他现在不计成本地想要打穿一款游戏
73
00:04:10,385 --> 00:04:12,759
甚至不惜把肾卖掉，为了这款游戏
74
00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:16,066
忍受了许多人没有办法忍受的痛苦
75
00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:18,155
所以，献计你为什么这么肯定
76
00:04:18,434 --> 00:04:20,498
这款游戏就一定能被你打穿呢？
77
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,524
也许它本身就是一个恶作剧
78
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:24,148
根本没有人能打穿
79
00:04:24,906 --> 00:04:26,432
事实上你说这问题
80
00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:27,693
我从来就没担心过
81
00:04:28,179 --> 00:04:30,303
因为我看见有人把它打穿了
82
00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:33,273
所以玩穿后会怎样呢？
83
00:04:33,455 --> 00:04:34,777
到时候会打开一扇门
84
00:04:35,065 --> 00:04:37,529
走进去就能回到自己的过去
85
00:04:37,962 --> 00:04:40,037
所以什么样的错都可以修正
86
00:04:40,737 --> 00:04:42,192
嗯，是个蛮感人的故事
87
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,735
好吧就算你能够时间旅行的话
88
00:04:44,889 --> 00:04:46,553
那你想要回到什么时代呢？
89
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,711
我只想回到和王倩分手之前
90
00:04:49,104 --> 00:04:50,978
然后避免一些事情的发生
91
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,443
可献计你应该知道
92
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,242
如果只是想和女友复合的话
93
00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:57,041
不需要又卖肾又改造身体这么复杂的
94
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:59,417
你只要去跟她讲就好啦
95
00:05:00,569 --> 00:05:01,969
你是一同性恋吧
96
00:05:03,099 --> 00:05:04,962
事实上你内心是个姑娘
97
00:05:05,774 --> 00:05:08,048
你特别希望能找一纯粹的爷们
98
00:05:08,794 --> 00:05:10,487
结果有一天真让你碰上了
99
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,429
找了一辈子终于找着了
100
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,409
然后你就跑过去把心里全都说给他听
101
00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,406
结果对面来一句
102
00:05:17,896 --> 00:05:19,310
“可你该明白”
103
00:05:19,674 --> 00:05:22,129
“纯粹的爷们需要的是纯粹的姑娘”
104
00:05:24,515 --> 00:05:25,928
我举这例子的意思是
105
00:05:26,424 --> 00:05:27,627
王倩跟我分手的原因
106
00:05:28,273 --> 00:05:29,245
比这还残酷
107
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:31,516
那
108
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,520
究竟是怎样的原因呢？
109
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,734
好吧，我们的节目也就要结束了
110
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,095
关于这个游戏
111
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,388
我想就只好求助于日本的美元大雾了
112
00:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,250
作为世界上最强悍的电子竞技王者
113
00:05:46,728 --> 00:05:48,152
他一定会对你有所帮助
114
00:05:48,798 --> 00:05:50,642
事实上他提供的惟一帮助
115
00:05:50,664 --> 00:05:51,748
就是给我一号码
116
00:05:52,103 --> 00:05:52,633
号码？
117
00:06:04,961 --> 00:06:08,038
你好，欢迎您使用电话支付系统
118
00:06:08,073 --> 00:06:10,075
购买k粉请按1
119
00:06:10,076 --> 00:06:12,317
冰毒请按2
120
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,932
海乐神请按3
121
00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:15,891
大麻请按4
122
00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:17,972
转人工请按0
123
00:06:20,319 --> 00:06:22,042
你好请问有什么需要么？
124
00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,852
我想买那种可以提高反应速度的兴奋剂
125
00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,343
我们有A.B.C三种商品可供选择
126
00:06:28,909 --> 00:06:30,383
A种商品副作用小
127
00:06:30,749 --> 00:06:31,811
效果也最差
128
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,774
C种商品效果最好
129
00:06:34,131 --> 00:06:35,472
可副作用非常严重
130
00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,442
我们推荐B类商品
131
00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,505
效果虽然略逊商品C
132
00:06:39,922 --> 00:06:42,025
可副作用却远远小于商品A
133
00:06:42,721 --> 00:06:44,515
来一个C类商品吧
134
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:47,062
好的，商品报价目前为人民币50万
135
00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,102
我操，能便宜点儿么
136
00:06:56,632 --> 00:06:57,155
你好...
137
00:06:58,392 --> 00:06:59,063
你好，请问...
138
00:06:59,469 --> 00:07:01,644
商品C，50万现金支付
139
00:07:03,182 --> 00:07:05,526
好的，请于晚间11：30
140
00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,114
到人民公园完成购物程序
141
00:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,744
再次感谢您使用电话支付系统
142
00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:11,830
晚上见
143
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:15,898
人民公园
144
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:17,920
老红军练剑
145
00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,140
街道大妈蹦迪的地方
146
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:22,315
这真让人意外
147
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,398
我和王倩
148
00:07:24,863 --> 00:07:27,628
也常在那无所事事地呆上一整天
149
00:07:28,975 --> 00:07:30,427
扫视路过的人群
150
00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:31,920
男人
151
00:07:32,176 --> 00:07:32,787
女人
152
00:07:33,531 --> 00:07:34,152
健康的
153
00:07:34,478 --> 00:07:35,080
残缺的
154
00:07:35,738 --> 00:07:36,357
年轻的
155
00:07:36,544 --> 00:07:37,365
和老去的
156
00:07:38,799 --> 00:07:40,582
我们一起想像这这些人的生活
157
00:07:40,897 --> 00:07:41,940
并试图扮演他们
158
00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:44,767
王倩和我一样有差时症
159
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:47,329
一天时间有时候对我们来说
160
00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:48,997
就像几个月那么漫长
161
00:07:49,527 --> 00:07:50,229
所以
162
00:07:50,568 --> 00:07:51,881
我们扮演的各种人生
163
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,430
加起来该有上百年
164
00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:55,242
可王倩
165
00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,523
总能令我像最初见到她时那样
166
00:07:58,366 --> 00:07:59,206
注目着她
167
00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,545
于是我不止一次地感谢自己的病
168
00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:05,179
能让我有机会
169
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:08,061
以世纪为单位，和她在一起
170
00:08:11,552 --> 00:08:12,694
我们分手后
171
00:08:13,071 --> 00:08:14,324
人民公园在前不久
172
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,037
就这么无声无息的
173
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,250
在城市规划中被夷为平地
174
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:22,269
所以买药姑娘和我在电话里约好的目的地
175
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,704
是个已经根本不存在的地方
176
00:08:41,877 --> 00:08:42,989
我首先想到的是
177
00:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,036
自己在出租车上睡着了
178
00:08:46,328 --> 00:08:47,179
眼前就是梦境
179
00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,880
当我从公园后门翻墙而入时
180
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:56,349
石壁上的寒冷透过手掌传遍全身
181
00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,478
使这些看上去又更像是真实的
182
00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,162
继续往公园深处走
183
00:09:04,807 --> 00:09:07,232
周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西
184
00:09:08,386 --> 00:09:11,191
前边那表皮剥落得差不多的绿色长椅
185
00:09:13,358 --> 00:09:16,613
身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪
186
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,777
井盖边上一片印着小孩脚印的水泥地
187
00:09:22,743 --> 00:09:24,105
这些本该消失的东西
188
00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:27,495
凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光
189
00:09:37,935 --> 00:09:39,487
我开始往前跑
190
00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:43,216
再怎么好意思
191
00:09:43,391 --> 00:09:44,771
我也不能让自己触景生情地跟这
192
00:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,258
潸然泪下吧
193
00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:51,485
为了不那么难受
194
00:09:52,429 --> 00:09:55,225
我开始假装自己真的在这儿碰见了王倩
195
00:09:56,753 --> 00:09:57,854
我走上前跟她说
196
00:09:58,589 --> 00:10:00,593
呦，没留神咱省了50万啊
197
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,055
明天上街一人来身新衣服
198
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,386
再把你旧手机给换了
199
00:10:06,491 --> 00:10:07,453
你来台nds
200
00:10:07,829 --> 00:10:08,862
我来台psp
201
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,612
之后买上一堆零食
202
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,115
坐飞机去西藏
203
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,180
九寨沟、杜拜
204
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,182
伦敦、夏威夷
205
00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:18,002
复活节岛
206
00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:18,572
纽约
207
00:10:19,011 --> 00:10:19,572
巴黎
208
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:20,864
哥本哈根......
209
00:10:27,135 --> 00:10:29,030
再后来，买药姑娘来电话
210
00:10:29,658 --> 00:10:31,462
让我把钱都放到公园里
211
00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,547
一台红色自动售货机里
212
00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:38,166
这花了我很长时间
213
00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:41,624
长到让我相信
214
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,324
人民公园的再次出现
215
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,468
事实上跟王倩毫无关系
216
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,494
你好，这里是电话支付系统
217
00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,183
您的交易已完成
218
00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:07,965
希望您购物愉快
219
00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:09,399
后会有期
220
00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,280
并祝您春节快乐
221
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,331
万事如意
222
00:11:21,552 --> 00:11:22,323
差时症
223
00:11:22,895 --> 00:11:23,787
我操你妈
224
00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:26,676
李献计心里明镜儿似的知道
225
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,438
自己差时症又犯了
226
00:11:28,913 --> 00:11:30,185
因为他分明记得
227
00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:31,530
几个小时前
228
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,353
第一次给买药姑娘打电话
229
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,202
是一个夏季的夜晚
230
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:36,979
当时还下着雨
231
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,246
他砍价未遂
232
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,136
被姑娘二话没说挂了电话
233
00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:42,545
紧接着他又拨了第二次
234
00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,296
并约好在人民公园见面交易
235
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,306
整个通话过程不超过5分钟
236
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,968
而事实上这两次通话之间
237
00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,875
却相隔了整整一年半
238
00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:55,801
这便是差时症的第二种临床表现
239
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,531
把一段极长的时间
240
00:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,355
在感官上短暂化
241
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,307
在这18个月里发生了许多事儿
242
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,979
比如被拆毁的人民公园
243
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:05,693
在人民的强烈抗议下
244
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,202
按原样重建了
245
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,124
接下来，应广大观众的热烈要求
246
00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:11,780
我们将着重介绍一下
247
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,961
李献计迅速弄到50万的成功经验
248
00:12:23,355 --> 00:12:24,708
我必须得弄到50万
249
00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,205
康熙玉玺
250
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,260
值6000万
251
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:28,989
把它带到阿富汗
252
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:30,555
就给你50万
253
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,320
怎么个带法
254
00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:32,984
我们知道你卖掉一个肾
255
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,410
玉玺可以放在那里
256
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,285
所以你要做的就是
257
00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,107
换登机牌
258
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:37,958
过安检
259
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,112
然后上飞机
260
00:12:39,704 --> 00:12:40,466
用你们的话说
261
00:12:40,555 --> 00:12:41,570
就是万无一失
262
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,083
你不能上飞机
263
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,249
管得着么，你哪位
264
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,132
C.I.A
265
00:12:46,484 --> 00:12:48,587
你被怀疑进行非法资金流动
266
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,101
我们知道你在肚子里藏了什么
267
00:12:51,495 --> 00:12:55,233
但如果你同意把一颗小窃听器植入玉玺内
268
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:56,809
我们就不逮捕你
269
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,224
之后，当然
270
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,169
你得继续把玉玺运给我们的
271
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,169
“阿富汗朋友”
272
00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,261
那帮阿富汗商人安全么
273
00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,058
放心吧，都是良民
274
00:13:08,011 --> 00:13:09,412
你正在为美国工作
275
00:13:10,863 --> 00:13:11,652
对不对！
276
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,621
操，悲剧了
277
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,545
这些无知的老美
278
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:17,056
越来越让人生厌
279
00:13:17,615 --> 00:13:20,129
当然，你今天将为此客死他乡
280
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,789
吓唬谁啊，有本事拿枪把我给毙了
281
00:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,304
在我离开后就杀了他
282
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:28,079
一般人要这样
283
00:13:28,535 --> 00:13:29,596
肯定就给吓坏了
284
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,119
可是如果会功夫的话
285
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,535
我是来把你从阿富汗安全带走的
286
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,753
但在我们逃离这里之前
287
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,765
我必须先从那个阿富汗商人手中
288
00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,917
救一个人质出来
289
00:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,173
这人质是谁啊
290
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,108
美国总统的女儿
291
00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,861
那这阿富汗商人
292
00:13:50,042 --> 00:13:51,253
肯定得是本拉登吧
293
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,985
他们将付出代价！
294
00:13:57,643 --> 00:13:58,816
来救我的特工牺牲了
295
00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,121
所以我们已经跟美国失去了联系
296
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,506
要想逃出这里
297
00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:07,899
我们就只能靠自己！
298
00:14:10,986 --> 00:14:11,667
那无所谓
299
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,598
只要别耽误我找本拉登
300
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,274
他还拖欠我50万送货费呢
301
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,846
你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩？
302
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,489
其实就是为了自己
303
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,567
能从分手后的世界顺利逃走
304
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,926
你的神不在这里
305
00:14:57,694 --> 00:14:58,746
差时症
306
00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,546
给我50万！
307
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,697
你得买什么？
308
00:15:42,181 --> 00:15:42,892
献计献策
309
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,228
对不起
310
00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:46,665
我在未来
311
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:47,521
把这款游戏打通了
312
00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:51,030
所以，你把这个时代的王倩取代了
313
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,228
而且我是差时症痊愈以后的王倩
314
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,100
我跟你
315
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,407
还有过去的王倩
316
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,703
已经完全不一样了
317
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:03,864
明白
318
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227
不过还好
319
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020
你把那游戏又给了我
320
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141
这样我就能回去找原来的王倩
321
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660
就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候
322
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541
我们也不会在一块很久
323
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494
因为我的差时症很快就没有了
324
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277
我知道
325
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203
到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次
326
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095
献计献策
327
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501
虽然我没法再喜欢你了
328
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229
可你这么浪费自己
329
00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721
我心里很难过
330
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794
都回去吧
331
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289
我还得接着打游戏呢
332
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367
你想过么
333
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114
如果你一直留在现在
334
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161
也许我们有一天还会在一起
335
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932
那样
336
00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919
也只是因为你在可怜我吧
337
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178
就这样吧
338
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146
过去的王倩
339
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064
还在等着我呢
340
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043
最后
341
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555
像每个人期望的那样
342
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853
李献计打穿了游戏
343
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161
接着就真的出现了一扇门
344
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392
他可以回到过去了
345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660
可同时他也发现
346
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561
这样的门并不只有一扇
347
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975
穿过这些门
348
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778
你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒
349
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598
也可能是刚出生的第一秒
350
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496
李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候
351
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027
所以
352
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485
在他找到正确的门之前
353
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150
他就只能一遍又一遍地
354
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
重复着之前做过的事情
355
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988
进入一扇门后的世界
356
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822
在那里打穿游戏
357
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096
然后进入另外一扇门
358
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655
并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去
359
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821
在这个漫长的过程中
360
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401
李献计开始变得圆滑
361
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885
他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕
362
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味
明白
318
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227
不过还好
319
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020
你把那游戏又给了我
320
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141
这样我就能回去找原来的王倩
321
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660
就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候
322
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541
我们也不会在一块很久
323
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494
因为我的差时症很快就没有了
324
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277
我知道
325
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203
到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次
326
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095
献计献策
327
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501
虽然我没法再喜欢你了
328
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229
可你这么浪费自己
329
00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721
我心里很难过
330
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794
都回去吧
331
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289
我还得接着打游戏呢
332
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367
你想过么
333
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114
如果你一直留在现在
334
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161
也许我们有一天还会在一起
335
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932
那样
336
00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919
也只是因为你在可怜我吧
337
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178
就这样吧
338
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146
过去的王倩
339
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064
还在等着我呢
340
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043
最后
341
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555
像每个人期望的那样
342
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853
李献计打穿了游戏
343
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161
接着就真的出现了一扇门
344
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392
他可以回到过去了
345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660
可同时他也发现
346
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561
这样的门并不只有一扇
347
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975
穿过这些门
348
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778
你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒
349
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598
也可能是刚出生的第一秒
350
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496
李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候
351
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027
所以
352
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485
在他找到正确的门之前
353
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150
他就只能一遍又一遍地
354
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
重复着之前做过的事情
355
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988
进入一扇门后的世界
356
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822
在那里打穿游戏
357
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096
然后进入另外一扇门
358
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655
并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去
359
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821
在这个漫长的过程中
360
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401
李献计开始变得圆滑
361
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885
他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕
362
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味
363
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:18,020
皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落
364
00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:19,789
他也逐渐知道
365
00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:21,622
爱情并不是生命的全部
366
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,456
也许他可以在某扇门后停下来
367
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,150
做一些其他事儿
368
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,844
遇见一些其他的人
369
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,234
他有时候会梦见一群人向自己走来
370
00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:34,877
王倩也在里边儿
371
00:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,000
可李献计却无论如何也没法记起
372
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,900
王倩的样子
373
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,967
就站在那儿
374
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:41,941
眼睁睁地
375
00:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,672
跟整个人群错身而过
376
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:45,974
他醒来
377
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,240
像个老人一样地坐在床边
378
00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,979
沮丧了很久
379
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,551
李献计又开始寻找那扇正确的门
380
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,388
直到有一天
381
00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,739
他打开一扇门
382
00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,264
那儿刚下完雨
383
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,197
日落前的橙色包裹着人们
384
00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,249
大家看上去都比平时要高兴
385
00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,984
空气既凉爽又新鲜
386
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,507
就像迎面看见的王倩
387
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,747
即使最简单的对视
388
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,028
也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处
389
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,417
那就是他第一次见到的王倩
390
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,025
一点儿也没变
391
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:23,727
可李献计
392
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,201
却再也没法向前迈出一步
393
00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,873
因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照
394
00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,234
他知道，这么久以来
395
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,738
他们两人之中
396
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,176
时间
397
00:19:35,313 --> 00:19:36,343
只在自己身上
398
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,962
汹涌地流逝了
399
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,791
最后李献计说
400
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,492
见到王倩时
401
00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:48,440
就像瞬间经历了整个人生
402
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,666
心里很平静
